If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
