ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
