She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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