It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize