respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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