He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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