Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i will never coherently bang her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Boobs speak an international language.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
