if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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