You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize