party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
