I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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