she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
