Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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