They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
