Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize