imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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