I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
