The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize