Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
