...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
