that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
