Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
