Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He shit in the fireplace
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
