Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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