so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
