tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize