he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
