the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
