you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
