Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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