I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
