got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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