I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just invented taco cereal.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
