The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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