i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize