Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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