I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
