We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
