Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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