I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
