Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize