she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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