the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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