moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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