So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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