If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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