I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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