Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
