can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
