no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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