I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
