wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
