Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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