Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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