I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
