I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize