don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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