I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
