hotel room ftw
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
