just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
